The Sound of Silence
At least once a year, and sometimes twice, I will go away on a 48 hour Silent Retreat, and I love it. This time in a week I will be on another one, (so no blogs for at least 48 hours, as no internet connection out there)! It is a time to relax, unwind and get to listen to God. It is not entirely silent, we do get together with the leader, who will give us something to work with, but we are then left to our own devices,to wander around the Dehon trail, or to any place where we can be alone and silent. Meals are also taken in silence, apart from the Grace.
I find it a very therapeutic time, a time when I can be completely alone with God and ask Him some difficult questions, and He has yet to disappoint me. I hear the answers in the birdsong, I see the answers in the flowers and the woodland, I see the answers in the way the trees have moss on them in certain ways. I find myself weeping cleansing tears as I come closer to God as He reveals things to me. Are you finding that hard to imagine? That God can talk to us in this way? Well her is an excerpt from my diary written whilst on one of the silent retreats.
The surroundings are beautiful, the day is beautiful. I have set off on the path that has been suggested for us. On the path are 14 quotes. After finding the first one I found myself hurrying on to find the next. I had only taken a few steps before I heard God remind me to enjoy the journey, so I slowed down. We spend so much time rushing from one thing to another and missing the glories on the road along the way. I pray “Lord keep me mindful of the glories of the pathway.”
The woods are full of bluebells,(Now bluebells are the thing that reminds me of my birth mother. She was born in May, when the English bluebell is in full bloom, and she was a keen volunteer at The Bluebell Railway, in Surrey. Hence when I see them, I know a healing of the wounds that I bear is about to occur) many past their best, but as I travel deeper, some are in their glory. I suddenly find that I am thinking of Pat and want to cry but cannot think why! Quote on tree!
It is the futility of holding past hurts-forgive with Capital F (GW)
2 minutes later I find the words of Billy Graham
“The Christian life is not a constant high, I have my moments of deep discouragement.
I have to go to God with tears in my eyes and say “O God Forgive me”
I pray “Oh God Forgive me for all the behaviours that I have shown due to her actions”
Next step I see a pale bluebell.
God answers “your sins have paled into insignificance.
Are you beginning to see how God can communicate via the creation? Can I suggest that if you have never thought about communing with God like this, that you give it a go. I would love to hear about your experinces.
Next week, I hope to take along the work that I am writing at the moment, the book about growing up as an adopted child, and the revelations that I have discovered since my natural birth mother’s death almost 6 years ago. I have posted poems about abandonment in the past, and no doubt will write more, maybe whilst I am away being silent. I know that God will be my Comfort whilst I am there, and I am truly looking forward to embracing the Silence and letting the words flow.
Written in response to the DPCHallenge “The Sound of Silence”